POST BY SIR F
Sorry about the delay but I've been quite the busy fella the past two days.
So I had my first meet up on Thursday night. I call it a meet up because we had just agreed to meet for drinks and chat. Nothing fancy. But what is a date anyway? Titles, titles, titles.
We agreed to meet a place near the theatre since I had to do a show that night. I suggested a bar near there that I frequent quite a bit.
I was a bit nervous because I hesitated meeting up since she's quite young. About 21. Does that make me skeezy? Should I get a tiny comb and stroke my molestache and brag about my camaro? Anyway, I figured I'd just go because we had got along pretty well via e-mail correspondence.
I met her out in front of the bar and she already seemed very quiet and shy. We had an awkward hello and headed inside. There we started up the basic small talk, but there was quite a bit of silence and hesitation.
Let me say this...I'm TERRIBLE at small talk sometimes. ESPECIALLY on dates. Every time it happens I can feel myself tense up and I'm screaming in my head "You're better than this! You're not a boring guy! You're fun with a group of people! Wake up! You're fucking up"! So there was a lot of that going on.
I feel bad because she said she was tired from working and having classes all day and here I was with not an interesting thing to say. I could almost see the disappointment pouring forth, flooring me to that cold defeated floor.
Then, two of my friends walked in. A sense of relief shot over me! Thankfully! Friends were here to help me out! To save me and bring out the super awesome guy I am! Did I mention I'm humble? I knew they'd get conversation moving and we'll get cooking. After awhile with having a small chat with them she was being quiet and wasn't really chatting back. She started checking her texts and that's when I realized I had made a mistake. My friends felt it too and then asked "Wait. Is this a date? Are we interrupting?!" They felt bad and then moved over to another table. I apologized to her and she said it was fine.
After a few more minutes of awkward conversation she decided to head out. But when she did she said she enjoyed it and gave me her number and said we should hang out again.
It was weird because I could have sworn she seemed uncomfortable and not into it at all.
I can't tell if she was being polite or what. She was nice and cute. I'd hate for her to have done that just out of some obligation.
Strange thing is, after that show I ended up hitting it off with a fellow improvisor I knew through friends and had just recently started chatting with. We hung out again with a group of our friends last night and we had fun. So, in a weird way, the night wasn't a total washout.
Next meet up is Monday. We'll see how that one goes.
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are you going to contact her?
ReplyDeleteShe e-mailed me to tell she had a good time despite the awkwardness. I suggested next time we meet maybe we meet with a group of her friends and just hang out.
ReplyDeleteSir F:Bring back the art of group dating!!!
ReplyDeleteI just spit out my decaffinated hotel coffee beverage when I read this: Should I get a tiny comb and stroke my molestache and brag about my camaro?
ReplyDeleteYou should rock that beard you wore in your intro photo with the beret for your next meetup.
If you're terrible at small talk on first dates then I suggest you ditch the drinks at the bar. The whole dinner/ drinks date always feels like an interview process. Instead you should play it by ear on the first date . Do random things like walking over the brooklyn bridge, drinking 40's on your stoop or go bowling. You're not going to sound like a creep if you invite a chick over to watch some dvds either.
I never though of it that way, but you've hit it on the nose about it feeling like an interview process. It always feels like "Well, here's what I'm going to say and here's a question I'm going to ask you. Now you". Back and forth, back and forth.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the interview process is lame. Your next prospect should be a best friend w/ benefits, so why not do something that you would want to do w/ a best friend?
ReplyDelete